Monday, January 31, 2011

Bewbs in Mah YouTubes?



To be entirely fair, I haven't paid much attention to YouTube for a while.  Hulu and other streaming sites have kept my attention for watching stuff.  Yes, there were the occasional links to the ridiculous and strange, but YouTube's takeover by teh Google, pretty much passed me by.  Yes, that is old news, but I pretty much ignored the limited licenses that folks like CBS, Lion's Gate, and MGM made to offer up films. My connection has been spotty at best for a while, and this summer at Mesa Verde that connection was almost non-existent.  Which explains the bareness of my post history here too.  Mea culpa.

So, now that I have a strong connection, my old and slow computer is back, and my TV habit sharply curtailed by a lack of interest in sitting down with the big screen, save to play games and movies, I was surprised to see the various channels for films.  Not the uploaded anime in 10 minute snippets, or films chopped to channels, but full length films that are licensed.  For me, a wealth of Shaw Brothers movies makes me a happy guy.

Imagine my surprise when going through, and lo, there were boobs in mah tubes.  Not porn or cam girl nudes, but the usual mild sessy that many HK films went for.  Then in browsing for movie channels, realizing that there were a host of the old "nudist" films that went for the sessy stuff that tried to get around the censors in appearing to be about the nudist lifestyle.  Likewise, a whole raft of the Spaghetti Westerns, and without suffering the cutting room floor.  Let's not even get into the huge pile of detritus that masquerades as horror movies, made straight for video, and some of which doesn't even qualify for airing on Cinemax late at night.

I have to say, that it was a pleasant surprise.  Not so much because I am starved for boobs.  An American male, with an Internet connection, let's face it, I can see boobs on demand, even from my phone.  Finding porn isn't exactly a difficult thing.  If anything, thanks to Google, it's often a matter of making sure your Search Settings are set to at least Moderate to avoid finding out exactly how often Rule 34 is invoked.  (Or how many folks apparently are really into Pokemon porn.  Seriously, people, WTF?) The surprise was nice, because, let's face it, there are a lot of great films out there. Not all of them are for kids, and not all of them were just softcore dressed up for cable.  I am a fan of cheesy horror.  Goofy action films.  Spaghetti Westerns.  And in looking to finally compete against other streaming film sites, YouTube has finally become a stop for me.  Because it's finally treating me like an adult.

Grown people can handle the boobs, and I don't mind a mature content warning.  I'm not looking for YouTube to become a Consumption Junction clone by any means, but by providing content that isn't all PG rated, I finally have a use for the service--because before, let's face it, the sessiest you got on YouTube was aspiring camwhores practicing before heading elsewhere to monetize their assets and finding their way to a Gentlemen's Club near you. Other than seeing some kid rack himself on a skateboard.  Or seeing Julia Nunes do another ukele based song.  Speaking of which:



Is this an endorsement for bewbs and softcore?  Well, maybe a little, because bewbs are a good thing. But less an endorsement, than a thank you to YouTube for treating me like a gottverdammt adult after so long.  Bewbs aren't going to curve our spines, and keep us from winning the war, and treating the public like adults on occasion might actually keep the service relevant and useful, even to cranky bastiches like myself.  Who are actually going to YouTube to look for more than just the occasional video to link into emails to woo gals with pretty gray eyes and mobile kiesters. Speaking of which, YouTube finally got some folks who revere Kyu Sakamoto.  Sukiyaki was one of those tunes my mother used to sing when I was a wee boy, and finding this original video, apparently kicked up a lot of dust in the room.



Thanks YouTube for not devolving, and for becoming more useful as time has gone on.  Unlike some social networks, you're actually keeping up, and that's nice to see.  Some sites ARE slicker and more polished, but it's nice to see the old girl has a few new tricks, and some fun licensed content.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The TEA Party and Historical Fundamentalism















Jill Lepore released The Whites of their Eyes: The Tea Party's Revolution and the Battle over American History recently, from the Princeton University Press.

That news alone might not get folks terrible excited.  While a contributor to the New Yorker, her work tends to be of a scholarly nature, grounded in early American history, and that is unsurprising given her credentials as a Harvard professor.

What she has done is shed some light onto the historical revisionism, if not outright Historical Fundamentalism that the TEA Party and their fellow travelers are now engaging in to back not just shoddy scholarship, but to make political cases for action, based on a somewhat dubious historical perspective.

My own take on the TEA Party has been one of some bemusement.  Taking the name of an action where American colonists struck a blow against both the East India Trading Company, and the British Crown, who was heavily invested in said corporation, and using that name to protest, by buying tea to throw away, to be cleaned up by municipal workers, paid for by their own taxes.  It is an odd disconnect.

No more so, than their own cries against what they feel oddly as "Taxation without representation!" while ignoring the sad fact that they ARE represented.  The Tea Act that brought such ire, was opposed vehemently by the Colonists in that they felt that they should be taxed by their own representatives, and the British Parliament did not have any Colonists sitting.  Not to mention the monopolist stance for the importation of many goods, that profited the East India Trading Company, and the British Crown who held a large interest.  It is odd, since our own Representatives and Senators, and President who signs and executes the laws of our land, are all elected.  The Tea Party and their fellow travelers have representation, they simply don't like the representatives that their fellow citizens have put into office.

There lies the rub.  It is an odd sort of time, where folks whose candidate feel that they no longer have a voice, which says something more about how they feel representatives should operate.  Representatives and Senators represent the citizens and interests of their districts and states.  Not simply the ones who put them into office, but all of them. Which is sort of why we made addendum to the Constitution to guarantee protections for minority voices in the Bill of Rights.  It is a telling assumption that if your side loses an election, that you will have no say, on how you and yours will operate in the majority.

That has been my impression of the TEA Party.  Jill Lapore takes on the historical revisionism and new Historical Fundamentalism that is used as the basis to support stances that, to be honest, take a distorted view of history, and the intentions of our Founding Fathers.

From the separation of church and state--which the Texas School Board have taken on as an enemy of the people, and who reject the principle--to rebranding capitalism with "free trade" and slavery with the more antiseptic "Atlantic triangle trade."  Likewise, the TEA Party likes to invoke the Constitution as its guide for a vision of the future, while ignoring the very Preamble to the document where the Framers put forth in clear language their purpose.

"to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity."

Those words are particularly telling.  The Preamble clearly laid out what the People ordained the Constitution to address.  Yet, we have a movement that tends to ignore the capitalized portions of the Preamble as being irrelevant...

Mind you, this is not the first time the Founders and our Revolution have been invoked for political profit. Both the Federalists and Anti-Federalists jiggered with interpretations to support their causes. Both the Union and Confederacy bolstered their cases by invoking the Founders.  Even Martin Luther King, Jr. invoked the Tea Party as a massive act of civil disobedience.  Andrew Jackson portrayed his Democratic Party as the true Sons of Liberty.

It isn't just Jefferson, who has now become persona non grata, save when convenient, whose words have been taken sometimes out of context.  Many use Franklin's The Way to Wealth as a base on which to found cases that we must have an aggressive defense of laissez faire policy, ignoring the fact that Poor Richard's Almanac was often a pointed satire, and full of bold and often reckless japes.  Instead, we have folks who portray Franklin as a stolid supporter of things that he openly mocked.  Mind you, it is not entirely surprising that his role has been reinterpreted by folks who hold that the Green Dragon Tavern, the "Headquarters of the Revolution" is no longer in Real America, as Boston is now firmly in the hands of the enemy.

Mind you, the TEA Party--Taxed Enough Already--is far from the first invocation of the imagery. In the 1970s Jeremy Rifkin's People's Bicentennial Commission formed their own TEA Party--Tax Equity for Americans.  His words were that the nation needed "a new party, a movement that will treat tax reform as one aspect of a fight for genuine equality of property and power against taxation without representation."  There has been a proliferation of trash thrown into the Boston harbor in protest--from the Boy Scouts dumping a cask labled "CRACK" in 1988, the Teamsters dumped beer and water and empty cases four years later in their own protests. In 1997 doctors and nurses boarded the Beaver and threw out HMO's annual reports "launching a campaign against market-driven health care."  Dick Army himself unloaded a copy of the US tax code in 1997, and in 2007 Senators from Massachusetts, Texas, Georgia, and Virginia went to dump boxes bearing labels of unfunded federal mandates, like No Child Left Behind--though, to be fair, they didn't actually dump them as it is illegal to do so, but they pretended to.  Which shows how far folks are willing to go to appear to be making a useful protest...

There is a move towards Originalism within our current incarnation of the TEA Party.  One that carefully picks and chooses its interpretations.  You have the National Center for Constitutional Studies founded in 1967 to promote the idea that the Founders had fixed and final word on the intent of the Constitution.  Seemingly to flout the words of Madison in Federalist 14:

"Is it not to the glory of the people of America, that, whilst they have paid decent regard to the opinions of former times and other nations, they have not suffered a blind veneration for antiquity, for custom, or for names, to overrule the suggestions of their own good sense, the knowledge of their own situation, and the lessons of their own experience?"

And whilst trying to reinterpret the intent of the Framers, they live that lively statement, while rejecting that they are doing so, wholecloth, in trying to determine what that original intent might  be.

Let's not even get into the reenactment of the Boston Massacre to promote antibussing, in 1974.  The riff of using imagery of the Revolution to invoke an appeal to authority and validity of actions is not exactly a new thing.

Not just on tax policy, do we see a want of Historical Fundamentalism, but certainly, we have a renewed interest in promotion of religion by the State.  From Mitt Romney's address on faith, to the renewed attacks on the separation of church and state in Texas and beyond. Mind you, flouting Madison's 1785 "Memorial Remonstrance against Religious Assessments"

"The Religion of every man must be left to the conviction and conscience of every man."


Jefferson's own, "our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions any more than our opinions in physics or geometry."

Article VI of the Constitution itself: "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust in the United States."

And the addendum to that, in the First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."


Mind you, those are all foundations to protect religion from the state, as much as protect the state from religion.  The tides of religious fervor wax and wane, and while one faith may take public precedent, years and shifts in population can take that faith from being in the majority.  That our Founders rejected the practice of the establishment of religion--as nearly every British North American colony had an established religion--is telling.  Not just to protect the state, but to protect faiths. In seeking to promote faith in our state, we commit ourselves to a road that veers steadily away from those protections.

The revisionism is particularly marked when you see TEA Party advocates recite the Pledge of Allegiance.  Not only forgetting the "Liberty and Justice for All" portions, but as a line drawn in the sand against the perceived socialism of our current President. If for no other reason that the Pledge was written by Francis Bellamy--former pastor of Boston's Bethany Baptist Church--who was himself a Socialist. Vice President in fact of the Society of Christian Socialists.  Written for children. But, I've touched base on these forgotten pledges before.

Then again, we have seen Reagan invoking Thomas Paine, and many rushing to quote him on his beliefs on religion, whilst ignoring his equal belief in taxation and its purpose to alleviate suffering and for public works. Apparently The Rights of Man was not as popular reading as The Age of Reason.  The invocation of Common Sense is sometimes mixed as well. Reagan took up that mantle, as did Ralph Reed, Jesse Helms, and Jeremy Rifkin's Peoples Bicentennial Commission against corporate tyranny, and we have Glenn Beck railing against an out of control government as well.

Ultimately, we see the forces of a Historical Fundamentalism engaging in a practice to impose their own views of history, and looking to excise views that might contradict or oppose their interpretations. Fairly modern interpretations as well.  The interpretation portion I can agree is healthy. Our Constitution is a flexible document intended to flex and bow to a certain degree to the needs and will of the people. No provisions were made for women to vote, or for slavery to be ended.  We have changed as a society, and that flexibility goes in tandem with Jefferson's view that "Large institutions must go hand in hand with the Progress of the human mind."  What is dangerous is attempts to stifle education and dissent of other interpretations.  To vilify those who have a knowledge of history, and likewise use it to counter the revisionist attempts to impose only their view of history onto not just the public, but coming generations.

Crossposted to The Motley Moose. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In a Way I Can Sort of Feel for Haley Barbour...

I just don't remember it as being that bad." He goes on to talk of standing "at the periphery"



Yes, not exactly the most enlightened approach to race relations, when one is looking for a Presidential run. Especially when the defeat of the originally Republican sponsored DREAM Act just failed to pass muster.  And on the coat tails of a whole lot shaking going on with charges of racism within the GOP, and much finger pointing and revisionism on the part of lots of folks on both sides of the aisle, it is maybe not the most politic time to choose to defend the White Citizens Councils, and then incite a media that is already looking to sharpen their teeth in preparation for the Presidential race to come.

Unlike the Slate article above, and the assessment that Barbour is looking to white wash his past--which is not entirely inaccurate given the current level of revisionism that is going on by many in this political climate--is, I think, simplistic, but I can feel for the man in a way.

I grew up an Army brat. By the time I was in second grade, I'd been to Okinawa, California, Texas, Maine, and South Carolina. In second grade, I lived with my Grandmother, a grand KC lady who worked at the JP Regal plant outside Whitmire. We moved to Whitmire because of my Grandmother's transfer--my father was once again on the move, and it was far more stable for me to be with my Grandmother post his recent divorce.  I was already a bit of a rolling stone.

Whitmire was a grand little town.  It sits right near one of the largest tracts of logging land in South Carolina.  The folks who own a good sized chunk of it, and whose ancestors helped found Whitmire were our landlords and neighbors.  The Bakers moved to a single level ranch that they'd built so Senior didn't have to go up and down stairs, and they put up their old family home for rent.  The sons were likewise our neighbors across the highway, and in the fall, they'd give away the corn they grew to whoever wanted to pick it.  They were ardent churchgoing folk.  Giving, and kind, the Bakers showed my Grandmother every courtesy, and the ragged and gangly boy that came in tow as well.

Growing up in Whitmire was as close to the American Dream as I've ever seen.  I rode my bike up and down streets with real white picket fences.  I chased snakes and lizards through wet country, and I chased, and was chased by dogs of all shapes and sizes.  In spring, I joined the throng of kids on the playground for the honeysuckle, I went to the drug store for the soda fountain, the magic tricks for a dollar, the 35 cent comics, and the Matchbox cars on a rotating display.  We attended the Methodist church in town--and despite the recent assessment by the TEA Party that the Methodists are Godless Commie/Soshulists, I found them to be good and accepting people--and even the Baptists and Catholics were friendly all around.

I have many fond memories of Whitmire.  It was a grand and glorious time to be a kid.  Deep in the South, it gave me a love of that country, the sound of the katydids and frogs in summer, the sight of a water moccasin sunning itself on a log out back before it got up the gumption to go kill something, the sight of my Great Grandmother running a lawnmower over a nest of copperheads and then passing out in the middle of the yard after the explosion of snake parts across it.  I was baptized there.  I went to Sunday School, I met a girl that I suspect was my first crush but didn't have the words for it at the time.  I made great friends.

It wasn't until years later that I began to have some disquiet about those years.  Because it wasn't until I was in high school that I realized something.

I was an Army Brat. I attended more schools than I attended grades.  A year was a luxury in a lot of cases. I got to make friends fast, and on base schools, or at least schools with bases near by, the military brats need that skill.  Because of that upbringing, I was used to all sorts of kids.  I had a Puerto Rican/Filipino babysitter who pretty much laid out what I consider attractive--my father dated, but I didn't really have a single "mother" figure, so I blame Isi for my love of dark girls with cobra black hair, and Catholic school plaid skirts.  Black, brown, yellow, sallow, pale, mixed up kids with even more complicated backgrounds than my own German-Irish-Japanese heritage were more the rule than the exception.  I didn't really think on it much until later years--and when I realized that my Grandmother was a little bit racist, in the sort of institutional way that many of her generation were.  Pickaninny was just how she said "cute black child."  She didn't mean anything disparaging, but that was how she was raised.  She got over it in later years, but it was a revelation to me when I remembered some of the things that she'd say.  She was my Grandmother after all, she helped raise me, after all.  But, I realized, even at a young age, that we saw people in very different lights.

Whitmire was, as I said, an idyllic town.  It was a slice of Apple Pie America.

I don't remember one black face in my school.  Not even a janitor.

Mind you, this is in the Deep South.

There were plenty of black folks working at the plant. Plenty in Newberry, Clinton, and Greenwood.  But not one dark face in my school. Not one.  Which, in second grade, I didn't really notice too much.  The previous few years had been busy with moving and a divorce, and all sorts of things.  I was just glad that the teachers smiled, they dealt with my restlessness and precocious energy, and treated me gentle.  It wasn't until later that I realized that something was odd there.

As I said, these were folks who had an enormous capacity for kindness.  The church did all sorts of outreach to the poor around Whitmire.  The Bakers were deeply involved with all sorts of charities, and giving to the community.  Personally, I've never felt safer than in that town--everyone knew everyone, and they all looked out for one another. This is, of course, through the skein of eyes from a second to third grader, but that is how I remember Whitmire. Safe, kind, and so much the sort of place that so many Americana bands like to invoke.

But, there still wasn't a single dark face that I remember in that Methodist Church. Or in my school. Or in our neighborhood.

I can understand a certain degree of insulation on the part of Governor Barbour.  I experienced it myself. A separatism that isn't so much institutional, as much as it is social.  I can't imagine Mrs. Lemon dealing with any child without love and kindness.  She was a grand little woman, with a huge heart, and easy smile, and she managed our classes with wit and humor, and nothing but affection for her students.  The Bakers were equally kind.  But, that doesn't change the equation, that in many places, such separatism is normalized. Not overt, not handed down by night stick or threats, but still, houses don't come up for rent, jobs dry up, and heck, John at the plant knows a guy who can get your wife a job over in Newberry, and I know a guy who has a great place on the other side of town that would be a damn sight closer for both of you...

Not mean spirited, but folks seem to know where folks stick to their own kind.

I understand the world that Barbour grew up.  Mind you, the White Citizens Councils may have put on a nice face for young folks, but their purpose was hardly the soda fountain world that I grew up in, in Whitmire. And mind you, my experience in the South was twenty years removed from the pains of desegregation.  Which, in some ways, makes the whole thing more insidious as I have grown older.  Barbour wants to paint an ideal for the voters--because many don't want to confront their own prejudices, and their own history.

The South is impossible to put into perspective without the context of slavery, the War Between the States, and the Reconstruction.  It is a land rife with beauty, and pain, and joy, and all wrapped up together.  It is much like watching that water moccasin sunning itself in the morning.  There is beauty there, and respect for the danger, and the threat of very real violence and death, but that's all wrapped up and bound up with beauty and a love for the land and the people around you too.

Even the racist ones.  Like my Grandma, who was a little bit racist.  She was my Grandma, and I love her, but I also learned from her mistakes.  And I'm glad that my father did as well, and raised me up to not care so much about color as character.  Well, that, and for that babysitter who set me on the path for dark haired, dark eyed girls who like tartan.

Barbour made a decision to paint events in the best possible light.  He did so out of his political ambitions, and to try to appeal not so much to the voters in the North, or the Mid-West or the West, but to appeal to those who don't like to admit that they were deep in a movement to restrict rights.  They tried to prettify it up by calling pride, calling it keeping neighborhoods safe, protecting their own or whatever excuse was used, but in the end, it was about keeping folks out and down.  His sin, wasn't that he white washed, but that he was trying to protect the honor of folks who had little.

But I understand that sin.  Because I grew up in the South.  I grew up with a kind teacher, and a minister with an endless capacity for questions from a child raised up a Buddhist, and who let the kids out of Bible School early to go berry picking.  The South is rife with all sorts of contradictions and duality.  While Barbour is going to have to face the distortions that he's made over the years--and as a politician, it's sort of expected--I can understand his desire to protect the folks that he grew up with, his own heroes.  The difference is, many Southerners come to grips with that Dame Bitch Duality, in love of place, and full knowledge of history.

The problem is, that when we look to revise history for the comfort of those around us, we forget the words of George Santayana, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." And if anything, the history of the South screams for remembrance.  Not just for slavery, not just for Jim Crow, not just for lynching and the institutionalized racism that became so endemic that it stains the character of the South today, but the carpet baggers and the sins of the Reconstruction that helped fuel that anger and focus it on the faces of those freed slaves as a symbol.  While many in the GOP are using Barbours remarks to try to paint the Democrats with the brush of the 50s--and it is likewise damn foolish for Democrats to try to forget Robert Byrd's own history.  Or that Strom Thurmond started out as a Democrat, and changed party in 1964.

It's not simply a sin of trying to spare feelings--and that I understand--but the real sin is trying to spare feelings that NEED to preserved.  We need to understand the hurt. We need the context, and that is the real sin here.  We need that pain, to remember it, so that we don't let it happen again.

Already, we have folks who are clamoring for controls on Muslim Americans. Forgetting the lessons that my mother's people faced with the Internment.  We cannot simply pooh pooh on history that doesn't fit narrative.  We need it.

I understand the discomfort, and I understand the desire to protect ones' own.  I get that portion of the show. To preserve honor and dignity for those you love.  But some things, we can't just wash away.  Some stains need to stick around, so you learn from them.

**As an aside, I suggest a small side jaunt from Governor Barbour and his bending of the truth. 

Sundown Towns: A Hidden Dimension in American Racism.

I found it fascinating, and it reminds me a bit of some of the intentionally segregated gated communities in Atlanta, as affluent black couples move back to the South, and form their own communities, which likewise shut out not just pale faces, but dark faces who were born in ATL as well...


Crossposted to The Motley Moose"

Monday, December 6, 2010

Oh Spam Folder, How Do I Love Thee


Today I cleaned out the Spam folder.  With Gmail, that's not such a big thing, but since I'm waiting on a phone call or two, I figured I'd poke around a bit.

There was the usual tripe. Newsletters I've never gotten around to canceling, great deals on flowers, much Viagra and other products to enhance the male physique. Some interesting attempts to Phish for my credit information.  But the real gems this go around were from a couple of lovely ladies.

First was Mrs. Lilian Jones. Hers was a tragic tale; esophageal cancer, living in Dubai, a very Christian woman whose only joy in these last few months of her life are to distribute her great fortune that she has collected for charities, but her bankers are not trustworthy, or so it seems. All she needs is a little assistance in getting the funds to collect the funds to be dispersed.  Luckily, she did have the name of her trusted attorney, an understanding soul by the name of Joe Benson, and apparently, he was more easily contacted than Mrs. Jones. She blessed me several times in this missive.

I very nearly wept. Dying of cancer, and she blesses me?  I needed a moment.

Next though, was a lass by the name of STORMY.  I was drawn to her note, because she asked that Let's make it Working.  With English skills so polished, how could I resist?  And upon opening the missive, there were attachments!  Apparently STORMY was an attractive girl, nubile and maybe 20.  She was apparently looking at my email address, and thought that we should strike up a conversation.  To commemorate our friendship, she sent two very steamy little attachments, that in all modesty, I didn't feel appropriate to open. A gentleman doesn't save trophies from egirls who send them unsolicited photos, it's rude and improper.  What if I were the sort of brute who would do things while looking at said pictures?  It was a sordid scene in my head, and while I could appreciate a random hottie with photos from what appeared to be two different girls in states of undress, asking me to download her pics, and then mail her begging for more, I feared that this naive girl would soon be taken advantage of.  I didn't want to lead her on, after all. I've been hurt before...

The women put me in a mood though, and with a slightly depressed mind and soul--one so ill and so concerned for the welfare of others, and the other so naive to reveal so much of herself online--I scrolled down further. There was a shining jewel of hope, in amongst all these attempts to Phish for information, or sell me blue pills.  One Miss Louise Boss sent me a message that I was a lottery winner, one from Amsterdam. I don't even remember entering and I was going to scroll down, when I saw a Big Red Banner through the mail! It was a warning!  That THIS mail might not be who it claimed it was from! How very shocking!  BUT, lucky for me, the folks who inserted this clever banner into Miss Louise Liar's mail, they were offering their services to clean my computer of malicious malware that just LOOKING at these sorts of emails could infect a computer with. All I had to do to cleanse my computer--and my soul--was to click the handy link on the banner, and their automated process would cleanse me, and send me back into the fray. Finally, someone who was just looking to do a good deed.

Truly, one can feast upon the milk of human kindness when one opens one's Spam Folder. It heartens me that there are some decent souls who seek only to do good in this world.  Now then, if I just right click--->open new tab, that should do it...

++++**NO CARRIER**++++ 


...dammit...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Lance Henriksen can make it better...


My premise is simple. The inclusion of Lance Henriksen can make even the most unpalatable of projects better. 

It is a corollary to my theory that Kate Beckinsale is the Anointed Bhodisattva of Suck. I posit that Kate is a karmic test for directors. If they can resist the siren call of her sweet looking self, and the hordes of fans that will show up to see her dressed in something skimpy, torn, wet, or otherwise revealing, or the possibility of such an occurrence, then they have an even chance of making a decent film. I have only the Underworld films, Pearl Harbor, The Aviator, or even Van Helsing as my proof.  Directors who had some track record, some success, and blew it by the addition of The Flavor of the Month.  Well, I take that back, Underworld was directed by her boyfriend who had no directing chops under his belt, but damn those were poor films, and I stand by her being a karmic test.  Kate Beckinsale can take even gifted directors down the road for a poor film.  The notable exception being Kenneth Branagh who cast  her in an ingenue role.  He was spared in Much Ado About Nothing, for she had not yet assumed her great role in the Universe's balancing. 

The Universe is perhaps not kind--the Long Dark between solid bodies will kill us all without a shed tear, and with little fanfare with a cast of radiation from a wandering body bursting with light and energy or smash us all and leave the world to the insects and squid to rise as the next species batting for intelligence--but it is fair. In that cosmic fairness, for Kate Beckinsale, we have been gifted with an actor of the likes of Lance Henrikson.


Lance grew to fame in geek circles with his role as Bishop in Aliens. Though, to be fair, he was in The Terminator long before that. And let us not forget Pirhana Two: The Spawning. And Close Encounters of the Third Kind and The Right Stuff--you know, little art house stuff. But after Aliens, Lance's career took an odd turn. Not as odd as, say, Tim Thomerson, who gifted New Moon Cinema with scintillating performances like Doll Man, but Lance has made an impressive number of B-Pictures. His IMDB credits are longer than many actors have had lines. Mind you, he hit B-Films in what was a new Golden Age for B-Movies. Near Dark. Pumpkinhead. Excessive Force. Knights. Here was a man who could seamlessly go from calling up a hillbilly vengeance demon, to cop, to secret agent, vampire, to corrupt sheriff, to a blood sucking cyborg, to voicing cartoons, and back to serious roles, and then mainstream television, even voice parts for video games. It didn't matter, since they all paid with coin of the realm, and Lance gots kids to take care of. And a couple of ex-wives too. There are few actors who have had as varied a career as Lance has had. And, I posit, that he is the reverse of Kate Beckinsale.


Now then, let's not get it screwed up that Lance has not been involved in some films and series that did, shall we say, less than well? But, his films have something that a great many of the straight to video crowd didn't have: Lance Henriksen. As a presence on film, he is the sort of actor that demands a certain amount of respect. Much like Keith David. He has a gravitas on screen, that means he can be spitting up what looks like a mix of corn starch and heavy cream, and still, folks are riveted by that gravelly voice, and it gives weight to a film. Even a bad film. Even Pirhana Two: The Spawning.




Or Knights. Here is a film that should have been gawd awful. Kathy Long was a female kick boxing champ. She was known for being a damn determined fighter, if not just a little on the mean side. She was also moderately pretty. Which in the 90s was more than enough. Cyborg had made a ton of cash on video with the Van Dammage. There were a ton of new martial arts movies all over the place, and not a lot of women in leading roles, so I can see the pitch for this film being made, and let's face it, Albert Pyun, directed Cyborg. Nemesis. The above mentioned Dollman. Heck, Kickboxer 2 and 4. He was THE guy to go to make a cheap movie with asskickery. So, Kathy Long is cast as our heroine, a naive girl taught to fight by Kris Kristofferson to battle blood drinking cyborgs. That's right Kris Kristofferson. AND Lance Henrikson. In a cyborg vampire movie.


And it was pure gold. Didn't make a ton of cash, but the movie should have had everything against it, and yet, it is funny, the action isn't bad, Long is a terrible actress, but you didn't watch the movie for her emoting, but to see her touchis in skimpy clothes, and her beat the hell out of guys. And then, out of the blue, you have Kris Kristofferson AND Lance Henrikson having a great time. For those who watched the movie, or plan to, you can see where Kristofferson stole a lot of his character for the Blade movies from this one.


It's a movie that should have been terrible. Just cringe worthy, but somehow, it pulls it out. And I leave that up to Lance, who tore up the screen with equal parts camp, and gravitas. His voice rolls out and you have to smile.


And that's how it is with much of his work. Horrible films are made palatable by the inclusion of Lance Henriksen. Even in cameos, like in Aliens3. Or Hellraiser: Hellworld. Or The Mangler 2--yes, Virginia, they made a sequel. Lance makes even terrible films watchable by his presence. He may not be able to turn them into gold, but he can mitigate even a terrible script to palatable. Put him in a video game, and you have legions of geeks smiling when they hear him. He, like Keith David, is a mark of quality, and part of that is his strong presence, and part, the fact that folks know he's put in his dues. He's no shrinking violet or tantrum throwing star, he's a guy who will throw up Karo and be chucked into a set to appear as a torn up android on command. He doesn't have a huge amount of pride to keep him locked in his trailer, she's a trouper, and folks know it. And that shows on screen. God Love him for it too, because his presence has made a ton of films that could have been absolutely horrible, into gems that maybe didn't bring in bank, but they certainly made folks smile.


Lance Henriksen. The Savior of B-Film. I salute thee, sir. I salute thee.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Patchwork Nation



One thing that has been driving me insane over the last few years is the driving home of this Red State/Blue state "wisdom."  The idea of Real America vs a Faux-America, and the resultant polarization of our politics in the idea that you're "with us" or "against us."

And in that feeling, we have this idea that we are divided nation, who either loves or hates the country depending on what button you push at the polls, or which circle you fill on the ballot.


Dante Chinni and James Gimpel have proposed a new model for looking at the nation, beyond the simple Red State/Blue state idea. After two years, journalist Dante Chinni, and professor of government a the University of Maryland, James Gimpel, PH.D, have worked on The Patchwork Nation project. It has proposed a new way to look at the nation, beyond just the regional work of Joel Garreau's Nine Nations of North America.  Based more on the work of urban theorist Richard Florida, and journalist Bill Bishop--whose The Big Sort: Why the Clustering of Like-Minded Americans is Tearing Us Apart is a fascinating read when you have the time--they examine the socio-economic and cultural divides that have sprung up in our society, and how communities across the web of counties across the nation more resemble one another than just the rubric of Red State/Blue state polarization would suggest.

For Chinni and Gimpel, they examined all 3,141 counties across this nation. With some statistical analysis of median age, income, ethnic make up, growth, housing, and cultural influence, they created a model that breaks counties down into twelve types.

Boom Towns--384 counties, with 59.3 million people. Wealthy and growing, like Eagle, Colorado. Lavish before the economic downturn, and rapidly growing communities invested heavily in construction and growth.

Campus and Careers--71 counties, with 13.1 million people. Clustered around college campuses and heavily invested in the industries that their universities are sponsoring, and emerging technologies.

Emptying Nests--250 counties, with 12.1 million people. Where Boomers and retirees are settling for their sunset years, sometimes with fixed incomes.

Evangelical Epicenters--468 counties, with 14.1 million people. Full of young families, often poorer than the national average, but with great faith, often in clashes with the other religious tribes in their midst.

Immigration Nation--204 counties, with 20.7 million people. Mostly in the Southwest, with high Hispanic populations, lower than average incomes, and a higher than average poverty.

Industrial Metropolis--41 counties, with 53.9 million people. Bastions of industry, densely packed, younger, more diverse than average, and packed with neighborhoods that are often as different as night and day.

Military Bastions--55 counties, with 8.4 million people. Packed around our nation's military bases, with middle income families of soldiers, and those who service our bases, and deeply tied to the deployments and families of those who are left behind.

Minority Central--364 counties, with 13.5 million people. African American and Native American populations mark these communities, and often lower income and high poverty rates, with often very divided communities where race is concerned.

Monied Burbs--286 counties, 69.1 million people. Higher than average education, higher than average income, and often evenly split between parties, and opportunities for dropping relative wealth here and abroad.

Mormon Outposts--44 counties, 1.7 million people. Mostly in the Mountain West, heavily Mormon, and often rural and sparsely populated.

Service Worker Centers--663 counties, 31 million people. Centers of tourism or mid-sized towns, where employee benefits are often sparse, and folks are often only seasonal.

Tractor Country--311 counties, 2.3 million people. Farming and agribusiness rule these counties' economic base, and often white, rural, and remote.

The one problem that I've always had with Garreau's Nine Nations, was that Northampton, Massachusetts shares more in common with Durango, Colorado, than it has in common with Boston or even the Cape. Yet, there is a tendency to throw NoHo in the same category as Boston because of the locale. While Mainers share many traits, Portland is a far different place than Skowhegan. And their voting history are far different as well, and the economies and culture are far removed.  The communities of the Finger Lakes are a far different lot than the folks living in New York city, and the breakdown that Chinni and Gimpel have worked out, while some may argue is arbitrary, gives us a wider picture of the forces that work on disparate communities that often share demographics, employment and income figures, and mores. Economics, politics and culture play a role as well. While Presidential elections hinge on the electoral fall of the chips, the Chinni and Gimpel model is a tool that may become increasingly useful to help folks strategize their approaches to elections, and gives us a more complete picture than the simplicity of Real America vs the Fake America that divides and dumbs down the national debate.

Chinni and Gimpel traveled to each county across the country to gather not just data, but to talk to folks in each of these communities. Those anecdotal stories are without irony, and build up a picture of each representation, the people within, and the challenges that they face. While the simplicity of thinking of the country as just Red or Blue makes for easy graphics in the news, it does us a grave disservice, even for those of us who are still invested in Party.  Republicans from Boston are a bit different than Republicans in Nixa, Missouri. While Palin's political base can draw from Evangelicals, it often alienates her from those in the Industrial East. And understanding these differences, and how disparate communities across the nation can share values and mores, as well as similar economic challenges can bring us, as a nation, closer together.

If you haven't looked at the Patchwork Nation project, I urge you to at least peruse it, as a better tool, or at least as a springboard for thinking about the nation less as polar opposites. It is a project that helps bring into focus better the disparate nature of the nation and her communities, as much as Strauss and Howe brought lifecycle influence better into focus with Generations and their cyclical model of generations in this country.

Crossposted to the Motley Moose.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Forgotten Pledges...

From Newest Farkstuff


Been a while since I posted, but given the recent flap with Carl Paladino's speech on the dysfunction of homosexuals, the flap over the "Ground Zero Mosque" and the upcoming upcoming trial of Ahmed Kalfan Ghailani, I thought it was important to remind folks of pledges made some time ago.


Most Americans of an age, started their school days with a recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. I have no doubt that most American reading this can recite the Pledge from memory, and without really thinking on it too much. Announcements, turn to the flag, find out what's for lunch in the cafeteria, discover that the football team is getting out early for a game, and realizing that means all the cheerleaders will be leaving too. Which was, perhaps good news for some, and heartbreak for others who pined for the lovely ladies with the short skirts and pom poms, or the strapping young men destined for the gridiron later that day.

We have said these words, over and over again. Automatic response, hand over heart, eyes often vaguely glazed. In repetition, we grew familiar, and reflexive. And the words, and the oath lost its power.

There is debate over the place of the Pledge of Allegiance. It's language, its purpose, the use of God and the separation of church and state, but that debate can be set aside for a moment, when you have to ponder how often folks in power, as of late, have forgotten the promises made, and that we made daily.

For all the jingoist patriotism that has been bandied about in the last election, and now as we hear condemnations against so much, and this particular Administration, I thought it wise to bring up the Pledge. Especially for the brand of patriots who want Americans to regain their pride, to resist the siren call of Socialism, the homosexual agenda, the rising threat of Islam and Sharia law in this nation.

These fair weather patriots have forgotten their basic and oft repeated oath.

I Pledge allegiance
To the Flag
Of the United States of America
And to the Republic for which it stands
One nation
Under God
Indivisible
With Liberty and Justice for all

You will note, that in that pledge and promise, that we have sworn, over and over again, thousands of times over the course of our lives, that our nation is a Republic, that we've sworn our loyalty and faith to that system of governance. Not just to one party, but to the nation as a whole. One nation. Not simply "Real America" and the heck with those faux Americans who live in the original Thirteen Colonies, with their fancy book learning and where the history is kept. To not contemplate the division and secession of parts because we don't like what our neighbors are doing. That we are united as a nation. Single and indivisible. Not Red states vs Blue states. Not just America until the gub'mint does something to piss me off.

You will note, the last portion. "With liberty and justice for all."  That part is more telling. More important. That is the promise of our nation. Liberty and justice for all. Not just Christians. Not just citizens. Not just straight people. Not just those with money in the bank, or property. But all.

It is a shame that so many have forgotten their oaths.  That so many seem to think that the Fourteenth Amendment is inapplicable today.

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

I have bolded the important parts of Section One. The parts that folks who've sworn their allegiance to the Republic, and the basis of our law and citizenship.

You will note, that Section One doesn't say, "Any persons but the homos" or "Any person but dirty Muslims" or "Any citizen" even. But simply "any persons."  Equal protection of the law. Equal. Not just a little bit, but equal. As in the same protection of the law.

We have repeatedly sworn to uphold the Republic. Using the flag as symbol of that Republic, we have sworn to uphold her promise of liberty and justice for all, and it is a shame that so many who claim to love this land, this nation, have forgotten their oath. To uphold liberty and justice for all, and then tirelessly work to limit the rights of homosexuals, who should have equal access and protection under the law to marry and live their lives with dignity, to be the same as all others. To try to demonize and limit the rights of Muslims to practice their faith, to build and prosper within the communities that they live in.  To cry and wail on the right to a speedy trial, and work to limit and even deny folks the right to a trial.

It is a shame that so many, who claim to love their country, have forgotten their oaths, and we are damned by this lack of faith, and this lack of vigilance to to uphold the ideals of our nation, that we have so often sworn to.

I ask that maybe it's time to remind folks what they pledged to do, over and over again, and to remind them of what it means to be Americans, and what we hold most dear and precious. Because it seems that a lot of folks have forgotten that oath, and our values.