Utah Has a Cunning Plan...

OK, let's be clear, it's not ALL of Utah, but rather, Utah State Senator Chris Buttars has a cunning plan that he thinks will help their budget crisis. And possibly solve some of those pesky Evolutionists' designs on their yow'uns' hearts and minds.

The idea comes down to the idea that our kids just waste time in their Senior year, and that it is superfluous. Which dovetails interestingly with his support of a rise in the minimum wage, and some of his brilliant ideas in protecting children. In part, I have to shake my head a bit, not just because this homophobe really hates the idea of gay people being happy, or even employed, or just plain existing.  His position likewise dovetails into his support of Intelligent Design, and wanting to get it into our schools.

Education is always the first to fall under the ax when budgets come around, but Buttars' plan has the added bonus to continuing a decided slide by a slice of the GOP to really hating an educated populace. Not just on the issue of Intelligent Design--which is such a disingenuous pile of malarkey to piggy-back religious teaching into science classes that it makes Baby Jeebus cry--but now he wants to turn out generations of ill educated, or barely educated kids who will have difficulty getting into accredited colleges and universities, for the saving of some dollars from the State budget.

Because, education, is all about numbers. It is all about how many kids you can turn out the doors, and not the quality of the education, nor the promise that we have fulfilled our duty to the next generation. Amirite?

Buttars is claiming that it is about the hard choices that need to be made. In this case, he proposes to gut education in his state, jeopardize the accreditation of their schools, and tout this dumbing down of a generation as a victory.  What bothers me about this mess, is that it is a facile sort of argument.  It is a smug sort of reaction that typifies a good many on the Reactionary Right.  That you can be educated "enough."  It is a world view that views education not as a journey, not as on going process, but rather, a set of discrete goals that can be completed, and then it is done.

It is, short sighted and reactionary, and bothers me down to my core, because these short sighted idiots like to call themselves Conservative, when they haven't got the wit to realize that their reactionism is exactly the opposite of what considered Conservative thought is.  I point Ted Olson's defense of gay marriage on what are principled Conservative grounds.  That we even have to bring up reasons for gay marriage bothers me, because Buttars and others like him have dragged the GOP into opposing rights for our citizens, and undermining the very concept of our republic.  Which, when you look at the Republican Party name, one might think that the defense of the Republic and the Constitution might come first...

The drive for the bottom continues from the Reactionary Right.  It comes from a lowest common denominator sort of lack of cohesive ideology, that stems from a lack of understanding of the Constitutional principles that the nation was founded on, and instead is substituting homily and barely understood interpretations of religious teachings that only back prejudice. What bothers me about idiots like this, is that they care more about appearances. The appearance of fairness, lip service to fiscal responsibility, and the investiture to the illusion of personal responsibility.

Mind you, I don't like State Senator Buttars' politics. He uses children as a bludgeon, he likes to disguise his own prejudice as "questions" of policy, and he shills for a cause that wants to substitute religious dogma--and only a few ministries' interpretations at that--for science.  He represents the slow rot that has infected my party for some time.  But now, he moves away from the social issues where he has made a home for so long in trying to promote his religious views onto public policy, and is now looking to strip Utah's sons and daughters of an education--which plays well to a certain base that fears the future, and fears being left behind, and fears change--and wants to call it a "reasonable" plan.

It resembles the short sightedness that the State Reps and Senators have here in Arizona to make up the shortfall in the current budget.  The fire-sale of public properties, to be rented back to the State is a wonderful example of robbing Peter to pay Paul.  The State will make some money in the below market rate sales of property, and then have to pay rent on a continuing basis--shackling the State to their new landlords.  Brilliant.  We have for today, so we won't for tomorrow. And this is the measure o what some call Conservative thought?  A grasshopper reactionism that only worries about conditions today, and figures that someone else will take care of tomorrow?  Similarly, Buttars' proposal would save money today, but, with the lowering of the educational bar, there will be less kids heading out of state for college, more folks who will be locked into the state to look for work in a market that will be increasingly competitive with a greater pool of less and less qualified applicants.

Education isn't about enough. It isn't about numbers. It boils down quality, and to inspiring a life long search for knowledge.  And it saddens me when reactionaries try to forget the lessons that so many struggled for.

 The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple.
--Amos Bronson Alcott


Crossposted to The Motley Moose

Cooking Series--Caponata

While the Stars knocked the boys around last night pretty badly, I did get a chance to make a dish that I dearly love: Caponata. Caponatina. Literally, the only way I will eat eggplant.


Last night, we did an odd sort of menu. Chicken and dumplings, linguine and clams, pilaf, garlic mashed potatoes, but on the uptick, my assistant did an assortment of cheeses that looked great, and I brought out one of my favorite recipes.

Caponata is a Sicilian dish, and while a lot of things change from region to region, you can count on two things with Caponata, and that is eggplant, and a fair amount of vinegar.

A lot of folks prefer a sort of eggplant stew, reminiscent of Ratatouille. I prefer to do a version that is a bit more reliant on fresh ingredients, and more of a flash pickling base. It isn't classic, but it embraces the roots of the dish, and gives it a fresher spin, and a texture that a bit firmer.

1 Eggplant--peeled, diced, soak in salt water
1 Spanish onion--diced
3 cloves garlic--minced
4 ribs celery--diced
1 red pepper--diced
1 green pepper--diced
1 yellow pepper--diced
2 roma tomatoes--diced
1 yellow squash--diced
1 zucchini--diced
1T fresh parsley--chopped
1T fresh basil--chopped
4 cherry peppers--chopped
1 lemon--zest and juice
1t salt
1t black pepper
1t crushed red pepper
3T apple cider vinegar
1t Frank's Red Hot or Sriracha
3T Extra Virgin olive oil

Soak the diced eggplant in a bath of salt water--I prefer to use a perforated pan to keep the eggplant from floating out of the bath, and turning an funky brown in air--for 20-40 minutes. The brining process improves the flavor, prevents it from soaking up too much oil, and prevents bittering. Smaller eggplants, like the Thai and some Asian varieties don't have that problem, and you can substitute them if you like, but this recipe uses the European.

After your eggplant brines for a bit, get your pan ready. You will need a good sized sauté pan or rondeau. High heat with the olive oil, and then add in your onion and sauté until almost translucent, then add in your garlic, and sauté that mess for about a minute, then add in your drained eggplant and continue the process for 3-4 minutes, then add in your chopped celery--sauté only until the celery gets to a bright green. Salt and pepper to taste, then take from the heat, and turn out onto baking sheet or other large surface pan. A mixing bowl will work fine in you want to leave the mess in the 'fridge for a few hours to do other things, but I like to get things rolling, so I put a larger pan in the 'fridge to cool quickly.

Combine your peppers, squash, zukes, tomatoes, cherry peppers, lemon juice, zest, basil, parsley, crushed red pepper, and toss with your vinegar and hot sauce. I like to just use a stainless mixing bowl, and just give it all a quick toss. A few flicks of the wrist, and the bowl does the work--yes, Virginia, it's not just shaped that way to hold the stuff inside, but to give it a nice angle to flip stuff around and give you enough area to catch it all as it slides back down. Once the salad portion of the show is mixed, add in your cooled eggplant and onion mixture. You can let the salad sit for a while before adding the cooked stuff. Toss and mix evenly, and salt and pepper to taste. You can adjust the spice level then too, if you are afraid of the red pepper or hot sauce. I like a bit of kick to Caponata, but that's me. Once you get your basic flavors down, turn the bowl into a storage vessel, and pop it into the 'fridge and forget about for 24 hours. Let the flavors develop. This version is served cold. You can serve it warm--as a side dish, or accompaniment to seafood--but in that case, you want to forgo the chilling, and add everything together for more of a stew.

After 24 hours of sitting in its own juices, the Caponata is ready to serve. Yesterday, we used it to top pita and a roasted garlic hummus, with a little drizzle of balsamic reduction. Tart, spicy, savory, and just a hint of sweetness. You get a variety of textures from the hummus, pita, and the firm flash pickled salad too. This version also makes a great side salad, or even a topping for a variety of fish.



Crossposted to The Motley Moose.

And We Wonder Why Our Girl-Children Have Body Issues?

Katy Perry has tantalized us with this gem of her own body issues.

Now then, to start off with, I have no particular axe to grind against Ms Perry.  She seems a lovely girl, from a good deal of the press, PR, and some of my own contacts in the music industry, she is a quirky and fun entertainer, and charmingly self aware and self deprecating.  Especially when she and Zooey Deschanel seem to be lost twins.


Zooey, for comparison's sake, and because, after her duet in Elf, how can 
you NOT have some tiny shred of love in your heart for such an adorable gal?


Quirky, fun, none too serious, that seems to describe a gal who has 
actually worked a bit to carve out a niche in an industry that is fair 
competitive. Her introduction to the larger world beyond Island Def 
Jam Records came with what I like to think of as a homage to Jill 
Sobule's own I Kissed a Girl--I like to think that, because Jill is a 
heck of a gal, an amazing song writer, and about the most positive 
person that I've ever seen come through the doors at the Iron Horse 
Music Hall.

I was chef at the Iron Horse for several years. One of the oldest
music clubs in Western Mass, and a mainstay of the Northampton 
music scene, it is a club that saw rise to a fair number of folks, from 
The Pixies and The Smashing Pumpkins, and home to greats like 
Dave Brubeck, Wynton Marsalis, Fred Eaglesmith, Dick Dale, and 
so damn many others, that during my tenure there, I'll admit that I 
lost a lot of my ability to be impressed by musicians on reputation 
alone. Saw Buckwheat Zydeco act a'fool, and watched Chris 
Ardoin roll in, thirty years his junior and blow him away both with 
professionalism and just plain on stage verve. The years with The 
Iron Horse taught me a lot about the music industry--and it is an 
industry, and records and CDs are less the product, than the singers 
and acts themselves.  Acts are manufactured, packaged, and sold 
with frightening rapidity.  Skill and success are not intrinsically 
linked though.

Jill Sobule, had her own quirky tune. She started off a sort of Lorry 
Petty lookalike, and has a sort of breathy confessional quality to her 
music. She is frighteningly self aware, and an amazing performer in 
her own right, and the years at the Horse taught me, she is an 
amazing champion for other artists.  She is so supportive and decent 
to other artists, that it stands out--in a business where it is often seen 
as a great move to be nonplussed at the antics of your fellows as an 
inculcated "cool" factor.




Jill is still out there, she is amazing, and if you get a chance to check 
her out: do. Her song writing has only gotten better, her stage 
presence is honed and polished, and she's a heck of decent gal.

I had to get that tangent out of the way. Both to preface approaching 
Katy Perry in context of acknowledging her own ten year slog in the 
industry, her own tribulations with critics, with folks who tend to look
at her as product, interchangeable with a lovely actress who is having 
her own career as quirky, and to frame her in relation to Jill, who, 
let's face it, she ripped off pretty gottverdammt hard.


Her announcement that she was fine with her body should be a mom-
ent to congratulate her. Her lack of pressure to conform should be 
appreciated, right? Well, save that Katy is all of 25, still has a high 
metabolism, and her claim to fame as "voluptuous" is that she was 
blessed in the chesticles region, as opposed to being, say, London 
Andrews*who is one of my favorite modern pin-up models.

On one hand, it is refreshing to hear a gal in an industry where looks 
are constantly watched, say that she was less worried about working 
out, than just being good with the lifestyle and the on-the-roadness--
which for a performers like Perry is a bit different than being on the 
road, say for Maria Muldauer or Dar Williams--but on the other, you 
have to wonder at the level of awareness that a gal who isn't rail thin,
but hardly what I think most could call anything but "girl sized" 
could be thinking on calling herself voluptuous.


Big hooters isn't voluptuous. She's not exactly what you'd call zaftig--
certainly not a pochari-esque figure to borrow from my mother's 
homeland. She's a good sized girl. Not "good sized" in the large 
portions sense, but a well built gal, and maybe a trifle on the skinny 
side, but not frighteningly so--on another note: Kiera Knightly, you 
and your boyfriend NEED TO EAT MOAR!--and that should be a 
cause to celebrate. But to call her frame voluptuous sort of sends 
exactly the wrong message to the girls in the audience. Katy, she's 
a slender little thing, and that is part of her appeal, but it lends itself 
to simultaneously addressing body issues, and smacking folks in the 
face who might have them.


Katy, good on you for not worrying too much. Sensible attitude for 
a gal who runs around a lot. But we still have a long way to go to get 
this crazy yo-yo thing calibrated...


*London is a working model, and I don't want to steal bandwidth by 
linking her shots, so I suggest you go check her out. London is very 
much the voluptuous model, and good on her. Sessy, funny, and 
NSFW.

In the Interests of Full Disclosure...

THIS has been dominating my life for the last couple of weeks...



Yes. I am that big of a geek. I ordered my copy in advance, and played through the first game to be sure that my character's choices and flavor would be fresh in my mind in advance of the game dropping into my hot little lap, and I will freely admit that sleep did not come for better than 38 hours after it hit my hands.  There was actual work involved, so it wasn't entirely a frenzy of button pushing, gasping at cut scenes, and being drawn into this new form of narrative.

BioWare has created something new. A lot of reviewers are still trying to decide what that thing is.  BioWare has made its mark creating some of the great RPGs of the decade.  They are still at work at that, but with Mass Effect they've warped their formula a bit in throwing in game play that is distinct and different than their usual fare.  Though, if anyone is familiar with their games, there are all the elements right there in Mass Effect from the collection of goodies, the acquiring of team mates, the management of team mates' stuff and abilities, but where BioWare excels is the player's management of the relationships.

A lot was made of the sexy time scenes from the first Mass Effect--which turned out to be a little less steamy than an episode of NYPD Blue.  Yes, there was a partial nekkid touchis, and there was some side boob action, but the scene itself was the culmination of a loooooong portion of storytelling process.  As opposed to being a Hot Coffee Mod-esque bit of  naughtiness, or the gratuitous nudity that God of War tossed in to hearken back to the heady days of fantasy films that made stars out of athletes and body builders and models. A lot was made of the scene, and what all the hue and cry from folks who saw it and got themselves into a wroth, was that they lacked the context for the scenes in the story.  Mass Effect is very much about that story.

That is what BioWare is really doing nowadays. It builds structures of story.  They are building a new way to build narrative--not just BioWare as Indigo Prophesy proved handily, and what Heavy Rain is shaping up to be.  Their hybrid shooter/RPG is a platform for telling a story, and giving the player a hand at the controls of the ride.  While the studio is firmly in control of the shape of that narrative, the ride is very much in the hands of the player.

Perhaps the best comic to distill down that experience is right  here.  The game comes down to a lot of choices, and there is certainly fan service galore in the game. Not just in flirtations with side characters, but scads of references to your choices and snippets of conversations that span both these games, and promise to span the entire trilogy. There is something satisfying to be able to recall these tiny pieces of conversation in the 40+ hours that you spend in these experiences, and that carry through to the next 40+ hours of experience.  That your choices affect and shape not just one, but will reverberate through three games, that is the seductive nature of the narrative that BioWare is attempting. 

Easter Eggs and bits and pieces of story elements that arc through games is nothing new. But, BioWare brings something to the table that really changes the game a bit.  It brings not just these structures of narrative, but it then executes them with verve and aplomb. And with top notch voice acting that brings these sprites alive.

Keith David is no stranger to video games or voice work. But he strides into these gigs with weight. All of the performances have a depth that the folks who point to pieces of scenes taken out of context prefer to ignore. Or rather, they aren't even really aware, because the experience and narrative are foreign, and they are looking to latch onto something popular to advance their own agenda. We see this with Avatar and the folks projecting their own biases onto the screen, we see it with the Conservative bloggers who simultaneously loved and hated The Hurt Locker for ideological reasons that sort of blinded them to the actual film. This is a cast that demands a bit more than button mashing.  Which will be lost in much of the discussion about this game. Which is sad, because this is a game that deserves to be talked about, not because of the "mature" storyline--which seems to be code in the industry that it isn't necessarily for 13 year olds with ADD--but because of what amounts to a new narrative structure that is shaping itself. 

RPGs have evolved quite a bit, and Mass Effect is very much about evolving that structure and game play more.  Not just with the stripped down mechanics, and the layered characters and reveals into their psyche, but how they impact your own character, and the player. It's a game that when you talk to others who played through the dang thing, you compare your experience and choices with theirs, and the impact it had.  Without spoilers, the game is chock full of moments when you want to take back choices--you DO have that ability thanks the savable nature of the medium--but that doesn't change the moment of surprise when a scene turns out entirely different than you'd been thinking it would. Or ends with horrible consequence because of your actions.  The investment in the characters, lent that gravity thanks to the performances, gives your choices a weight that you bring out of the experience. 

That investment is why those who want to piggy back their own issues onto this vehicle make me sad, because there IS plenty of room for discussion about the choices that the BioWare team made. And without the context of the actual game play and story, those choices are lost.  And the opportunities to explore this new narrative structure are likewise clouded. For those who are hip deep in that structure, it is a place where you share an experience that is a bit longer than the involvement that you have with a film, and it's easy to get lost in that narrative. With the choices presented. To explore not just a world, but impact that world. To push and prod a narrative in swirls of ethical choice that are not necessarily good, or bad, but rather about exploring those choices, and their consequence. 

Better Living Through Cheerleading

I just spent the morning with the Phoenix leg of the Zig Ziglar Get Motivated! seminar.  An afternoon of fellowship, leadership, and motivational speaking.


Zig Ziglar is a man with a plan, and he's a man with a powerful history. Tenth of twelve children, Navy veteran, a long time salesman, and now one of the foremost promoters of a brand of motivational speaking that brings me to this diary.

Today, we were treated to luminaries like Colin Powell, Laura Bush, Kurt Warner, Tamara Lowe, Steve Forbes, Steve Nash, and Rudy Giuliani. It was to an enthusiastic crowd of folks whose businesses had paid a $20 fee for tickets, and with those tickets, they could bring as many folks as they wanted to from their offices for a morning of inspiration.

Motivational speaking and I have a checkered past. I really don't believe in it. Not as a group activity. I think that folks do need mentors who can inspire you, advise you, and buoy you through tough times, and over humps. I do think that staying positive is essential key to success. I am positive that relationships and networks of folks are essential for success in business and life. We all need folks around us. We do need to keep our goals in mind if we are to get anywhere. The problem being, that group activities like this seminar are pretty much ways to build those networks, but less effectively, than say, going out and meeting and talking with folks.

And certainly not paying for mentorship--especially mentorship in absentia or by projection.

The morning was a series of rousing talks about the myth of leadership. About, as the title suggests, better living through cheerleading. My problem is that a series of rousing talks about being leading by example, by doing exactly what Zig Ziglar and his champions suggest by lending their names and their own success to lend credibility to a fella who is selling cheerleading as a service. Selling the power of positive thinking, selling the importance of leading by surrendering oneself to God's Will. It is a curious brand of boosterism that melds business acumen with Christian fellowship, and a sort of Neo-Calvinistic approach to success by the blessings of Jehovah.

Not that there's anything wrong with belief in God, and using the lessons of the Bible to guide you through your trials and tribulations in business. If more folks melded strong beliefs and actually acted upon those stringent moral and ethical mores to guide them, we would probably see a lot less malfeasance in the business community. That is, if folks walked the walk, as opposed to just talking the talk.

The problem with seminars like this is that after watching them, I come away only with the blatant huckster sheen of a tent revival, bound up within the trappings of a business seminar. It is rooting for your own success, and touting some trite aphorisms, to feel like you're doing something, as opposed to something useful.

Zig Ziglar and others, have realized a wonderful thing. And it comes bound up with Sarah Palin's own PAC buying up her books to hand out to donors.  It is a blatant form of hucksterism that applies a business model to boost a service that is not just elusive, it is a back slapping fiction. Sarah gives away copies of her book to those who contribute to her PAC--the PAC, being separate, buys books to give away, and Sarah, pockets her percentage--and there are others who have bought her books to give away as well. She gets the illusion of being a best selling author, and pockets the cash herself, and others get to deduct the expense of doing this little thing for her. It is a similar niche--a handing over of cash that can be written off. It is a type of boosterism and a brand of back scratching that typifies the business climate where folks complain bitterly about how folks need to be rugged individuals who do things for themselves, while relying on others to pave their own way. Zig and others broke through on the idea that businesses will pay good money to have them come in and give a boosteriffic speech or five, to give the appearance of a service, and then those businesses can then take that expense as a deduction. Zig and others exist to suck up those dollars--and there are a LOT of them available--that the folks who hand them that cash can then deduct for the myth of leadership. Call it professional development or whatever, but essentially, it is a niche carved out as an industry to provide nothing more than a bit of back slapping and congratulations for being positive, and giving folks some folksy wisdom, and allow those who partake of their services to then hand a buddy of theirs cash, that they will then recoup later. It is, essentially, money for nothing. It is a form of self improvement that we, as taxpayers, pay for, and so those same folks can then decry the terrible nature of entitlements.

It is the appearance of leadership. It is smoke and mirrors, and it puts on a good show, but at its heart, it is equal parts scam, cronyism, and just plain Carneys preying on the hopeful who figure that if they just act the part, that they can get in on the gravy train. Never realizing that they and those around them, are the gravy train. And binding up with a jingoistic patriotism and cheerful religiosity to invoke "the spirit" to affairs of crude valuta, and swill it together with a sort of surrender to the Will of God, while trying to pair up that religiosity with business acumen, it boils down to a brand of vulgarly cheerful snake oil.

Mentors we need. Mentors can provide us so very much. I am wary when folks are offering their mentorship to me, while reaching into my wallet, and that that is exactly what seminars like this do, by being a deductible expense. And not just in my wallet, but all of ours'.

Originally posted on Thu Feb 04, 2010 at 17:17:22 PM EST at The Motley Moose

Deconstruction of the Deconstructionists

With the death of the elder Kristol in September, Newsweek's David Margolick published this week a rundown on the Neoconservative movement, in its current formation.


All in all, the article's highlight has to be a quote from Jon Stewart: "Bill Kristol, aren't you ever right?"

It is deceptively easy to dismiss Neocons as blindly jingoistic cheerleaders and chickenhawks, especially in its current form.  The evolution of an intellectual cabal of nationalistic elements, to what are now entrenched advisors and think tank and publishing giant, with fingers in a good many pies has gone far from their start in the 30s.  Margolick does a nice job in establishing the academic and intellectual pedigree of this movement, as well as how insular and isolated the Ivory Tower that the AEI and their fellows are, while maintaining a booster club to promote their ideas on foreign policy, and on economic and domestic policy that has equal footing in games theory and ideology.

The idea of Neocons' "victories" in policy, we are now soaking in. As an ideology of exceptionalism they are without compare in our history, as few who have failed so spectacularly would cling to an intellectually bankrupt set of ideas and ideals.  While Margolick does line up many fine examples of these failures, he does trot out the anti-Semitism plank that is often used to defer or derail criticism of many of the players at the AEI and other foreign policy groups that are closely aligned, if not simply sharing members and goals, while maintaining separate revenue sources.  I will give him credit for honing in on Leo Strauss' contention that the "intellectual elite must tutor untrained princes" which is very much the role that the American Enterprise Institute or the Institute for the Study of War maintain that they do--though, with less bombast and far more quiet advice, while working to manufacture consent through a multitude of media outlets.  Margolick paints a picture of intellectuals with little governing experience who lecture to those who do the real work, and that is very much the failing of the Neoconservatives--brilliant scholars, who write and write, and spin tales of grand adventure and high minded ideals, and absolutely no conception of how to actually achieve these goals, but Boy Howdy, can they whip up the masses by extension.

*click to enlarge

*click to enlarge

Margolick does himself, and his article some disservice, by allowing the fingers of anti-Semitism to creep into his piece.  Not by his own words, but to allow any retreat from the pointed criticism to give folks the shield that they can hide behind.  Identifying this trend to credit anti-Semitism as being the primary reason for criticism only opens up the reader to question whether or not the critics are engaging in exactly that.  It makes the connection a bit too easy, and that is really the Neocons' strength--that they are more than willing to be intellectually disingenuous in the pursuit of their goals, and to hide behind wall after wall, and excuse after excuse for why their visions have failed to congeal, after half a century of prognostication.

It's not simply that Neocons have been wrong, over and over and over again, but that they have been wrong over and over and over again, and still they go back to the same well to pump for MORE of the same bad ideas, and with a zeal and cheerfulness to spend lives, capital, and reputations of those they back as tools for a game that impacts them little, save as intellectual exercise.

If anything, Neoconservatives are a wonderful example of what happens when people are educated beyond their means of comprehension, and aren't opened up to real criticism.  They are grand examples of why intellectuals have a tendency to be pulled out behind sheds during revolutions, because as an excuse machine for policies that service ideology they have labored for many a year to give folks a clear blueprint for policies that sound good on paper, but not so great in practice, and if our politics were a hair less influenced by media and donations by backers, this is a movement that would have starved on the vine a while ago.  So long as folks are paid to apologize and make excuses for these failures, and don't mind taking intellectually perilous and often contradictory positions so long as the checks are good,  we will continue to see these odd ducks trying like hell to prove that they were right all along--even if they have to rig the game and the players to do so.

Originally posted on Mon Feb 01, 2010 at 00:48:24 AM EST at The Motley Moose

Kansas City Style Ribs

Sadly, these aren't the ribs I finished last night. We were sadly short handed, and I wasn't able to get any shots during the process. My assistant had to fill in for her mother thanks to a nasty flu bug that put her little brother in the hospital, so there was some scrambling yesterday to do the extras.


The quest for perfect ribs is a common theme in kitchens. Chefs have their favored methods, and BBQ in this country is even more varied than the quest for the perfect hot dog.

Last night, I was able to complete a proper Kansas City BBQ with baby back ribs. We lost a game to the Islanders, after a lackluster performance early in the game--though, some bad calls by the refs put nearly half the first period down guys thanks to penalties--but the ribs, were damn near perfect.

Did a Chipotle Mac & Cheese, potato salad, a carrot and raisin salad that was OK. The Chicken Mornay that I'm fairly proud of as well, though it got upstaged by the ribs.

Ribs, are one of those items that folks will argue back and forth over. Perfect preparation, perfect sauce, perfect spice. I won't get into the minutia of possible comparisons, and just deliver what we did, and then you can tweak that on your own.

I'll distill down a bit, since I doubt that most folks are going to do 150lbs of ribs at a time, and less than 8 gallons of sauce. We'll work with baby back ribs, and we'll assume that you get them from your butcher cleaned and ready to go.

First off, you'll need to marinate these puppies. A minimum of 24 hours. Minimum. This is, just so you're prepared, a three day process. Good 'Cue ain't for folks who want to rush. The good news is that you can do the sauce on the day you start your ribs actually cooking, and I'll get to the sauce in a bit. Swears. We'll do a simple set of 8 racks of ribs. Good for a 4 really hungry folks, or 8 less than greedy people, and more who are just peckish.

Marinade/Brine

1G Teriyaki sauce
2C Apple Cider vinegar
2C Worcestershire
2C Frank's Red Hot
1C Lime Juice--yes, bottled is fine.
4  Roasted Poblano peppers--peeled and diced
4  Canned chipotle peppers--yes, add the sauce.
1/2C Chopped garlic
1C Chopped onion
1/2C Chopped ginger--fresh. Quarter that if you've only got dry.
1/2lb Brown Sugar
1C Chopped parsley--fresh. Quarter if you've only got dry.

If you've got a beurre mixer, this a great opportunity to buzz everything together. If not, then a food processor to all the ingredients and blend with a whisk.

Your ribs need to go into a pan that all of them can stand up in. Heaviest piece of bone on the bottom, and in a standing row, thinnest bone side up, and all curving the same way. I use a 6" full size stainless hotel pan.



That way the ribs have room to lay out full, and still have a little room for the marinade to bathe all of them. You can pack 8 baby backs in one of these puppies, easy. Pour in your marinade cover the ribs, and leave only the tips of the bones showing, if that.

Cover and set aside in your 'fridge. Ignore them, and do something for the rest of the day. Maybe take your SO out for a nice dinner, or finish some puttering around the house. Under no circumstance  fiddle with the ribs. Just leave them the hell alone and find something else to do for at least 24 hours. Take in a movie, do your taxes, maybe read a story to the kids.

After 24 hours, you can get started. Set your oven to 350. Bring out your pan of marinated ribs, and use a little parchment paper to cover your pan, then foil over that. You don't want marinade bubbling to hit the foil--it makes a mess, and the acid tends to play merry hob as well. Pop the pan, ribs and all, into the oven. Set a timer for three hours. You can get your sauce started now, if you like, or buy a sauce if you don't want to bother. Mind you, brought up in the South by a good KC lady, my opinion of folks who buy sauces is less than charitable, but over the years I've mellowed and allow that some folks' weren't raised right, and that's hardly their fault.

BBQ--Kansas City Style

2 Spanish onions--small dice
1/2 C Chopped garlic
2C Bourbon--I am NOT a fan of the Jack Daniels, because of the filtering process that gives that almost petroleum aftertaste, and that will lovingly transfer to your sauce. I don't recommend it. Evan Williams works just fine.
2C Tomato juice
3C Ketchup
3C Chopped tomatoes--yes, you can used canned.
3C Molasses
2C Honey
1C Brown Sugar
1/2C Frank's Red Hot
6T Fresh ginger. 2T dry ginger.
3T Cracked black pepper
1C Parsley--Chopped, fresh. Quarter that if you use dry.
2C Hot hot black coffee.

Salt to taste.

Start with a heavy bottomed pan.

Start of sautéing your onions with a touch of oil. As they go clear, add in your garlic, and stir for about a minute. Deglaze with your bourbon. Yes, be careful for flare up if you've got naked flame, because the bourbon will ignite when it hits the oil if you're pan doesn't have high enough sides. Let your bourbon cook off the alcohol after it comes back to a boil.

Start with your tomato juice, then ketchup, then tomatoes, Red Hot. Then your molasses, brown sugar, ginger, pepper, parsley, and honey. Bring the mess up to a simmer, and let it stay there for a good three hours or so. Nice low simmer. Stir occasionally.

By the time your rib timer goes off, you should have enough time to fetch them out of the oven, uncover them, and set them aside to cool on the counter a bit. You want don't want to pop the whole pan into your 'fridge unless you really hate your refrigerator and everything in it. Or you've got a walk in unit. I'm lucky enough to have a walk in, but for the home cook, just set them on the counter, and let them cool so you can pull your sauce. Before you do, add the fresh coffee to the pot, and whisk the sauce nice and even. Yes, fresh. Don't bring old, busted coffee into your sauce. Coffee has all those complex flavors that need to get blended into your sauce--and old coffee has lost a lot of oils and broken down a bit. You like your guests, use the fresh stuff.

Both the sauce and the ribs need to sit over night.  Rinse and repeat your previous waiting plans, or mix it up a bit. The important thing is to let the ribs sit overnight, and the sauce as well.

Day of service, you're going to want to fish your ribs out of the marinade. Be careful, because after three hours at 350 degrees, they're damn near falling off the bone already. Cold is the only way to handle them right now. Dust them off with your favorite BBQ spice or grill spice. A Chiptole BBQ, a Montreal Blend, whatever. Nice and bold, with heavy pepper flavor, and a decent salt and spice bite. Dust both sides. When you're ready for service, reserve some sauce to brush onto your ribs. NOT YET, though.

There are two methods you can use here now. You can just grill and go. It's messier, but has the satisfaction of the grill, and making a mess. Or you can grill, and then sauce, and finish in the oven. That's up to you. In either case, you need to get a pair of long tongs to carefully lay your ribs onto your grill long ways pointing up your grill. Convex side first. Grill for marks, then take your tongs and gently flip them over. Now you can apply sauce with a brush, or you can grill, and then set aside on a baking sheet. If you mean to grill them off, again apply a little more sauce on the bottom, and then, flip again. And then transfer the puppies onto your serving plate.

If you opt to finish them in the oven, then you need to carefully rub them with sauce from your reserved bowl. I prefer to use gloves and do it by hand. It's more sure to get sauce on every nook and cranny. Place them on a sheet pan, concave side down. Bake them for about 12-18 minutes. Just enough to get your sauce bubbly, and slightly caramelized. Just a little searing action, but not much. Bubbly sauce on the outside is your watchword. Not blackened. Bubbly.

Grilled or finished in the oven, sauce your ribs from the fresh and uncontaminated supply--pour on with a ladle, bottle it up and pour, but you want that last fresh mopping sauce. Carve your ribs into the size you want, and serve. Or lay the whole slab of ribs onto a plate. I like to garnish with a little green onion and maybe some diced red pepper, but scallions are just fine.

Tuck in, and toast your patience.

Originally posted on Sun Jan 10, 2010 at 19:28:53 PM EST at The Motley Moose